You can't make this shit up- PHOTO EVIDENCE

So today I was hanging out at CVS. Not for fun- on an errand. I spent some time in the vitamin section looking for L- Cystiene. You know it's good for the skin. Then I hooked myself up with some pink nail clippers. They are wicked awesome, but not just because of the color. They are pink AND glittery. I shit you not. I moseyed on over to the skincare isle, thrilled with my unique drugstore find. I picked up some salicylic acid, I'm not ashamed- this climate change is hell on the pores. I walked up to the counter and I laughed. Like, out loud.

There at the counter, was a woman, probably 80 years old, wearing only a blue string bikini top, a baseball cap, and really short running shorts; the kind that show ass cheek- even on a 16 year old. Her leg skin, well probably all her skin but I didn't want to look, was covered with age spots and hung on her body like cheese melting on garlic bread- yes even with the brown bubbles. She was carrying two boxes of Rogaine. She set them on the counter, next to a pile of other boxes of Rogaine- pink, gold and silver boxes. The woman was buying CVS out of monoxydil!

Now the poor guy working the checkout was trying not to laugh but it was a wasted effort. He looked at me and I sorta thought he was gonna cry. He looked back at her, but seemed to be having a hard time figuring out where to look. She turned around to me, and I sorta lost my breath. There she was, in all hey glory. Yes, as I said before, she was wearing a bikini top. No, it was not a full coverage piece. I will warn you, this gets pretty graphic. Read the following at your own risk...

The woman was wearing a VERY skimpy top. Her breast flap was hanging out the bottom of the bikini. By hanging, I mean HANGING. It was like a car accident. I couldn't look away. My eyes moved of their own volition up her body. They didnt get far before they encountered, to my horror, nippleage. Yes, eighty year old areolae. I kinda wanted to throw up- partially because I knew it would make her leave. She took a step and the jiggle was enough to snap me out of it. I looked her in the eye, I'm telling you people, I had no control over my eyes. She was smiling, like,

"Ha, ha, you looked at my semi-naked body!"

I quickly looked toward to CVS checker man, who was pretty hot actually (call me CVS man), "Can I help who is next?"

I smiled, "I don't know if shes coming back or not."

He shook his head, as if to clear the image, "I hope to God she never comes back."

The second he scanned my clippers, she returned with another pair of Rogaine boxes and returned, without incident, to the haircare isle. I started to laugh again, but it was now uncontrollable and rather obvious. CVS man started to laugh too and I paid as fast as I could and burst out the door. I lost it. I knew it was irrational, but I couldnt help it. There was a girl doubled over outside. I thought she was going to throw up (not that my neighborhood is THAT bad, but you know...) Anyway, she wasn't puking, just laughing. She looked up and said to me, "I'm not even that confident at the beach!"

Fuck the beach. I'm not that confident in the shower.

uneventful... but the closing thoughts are mildly interesting

I'm sitting here in my hotel in Boston. It is 1:30 in the morning and I should really be sleeping. But what the hell, I'm not tired, and I must admit I'm feeling a bit lonely this evening. I watched a sad movie and I feel it is my obligation to take this time to wallow in the emotion...
Wallowing is finished now. I'm tired. Just a quick update. The Fourth was kinda a bust. I'm fine living alone, but actually being alone all the time gets a bit less cool.

Closing thoughts... Celine Dion is a fucking poser. Steven Tyler, while awesome, is very androgynous. FM is a sell-out, liar (you know who you are).

A good day

Well, today I went on a "Duck Tour". I thought it sounded corny, but it was actually pretty cool. You start out on an amphibious vehicle from WWII. We drove around the city looking at all the historic stuff. We also got to see the largest chunk of the Berlin wall in the US. Then they take you into the water for a cruise on the Charles River. and you get to see all the sights from there. The drivers takes on a persona, ours was a former birdwatcher who was in therapy because of an incident with a bird, a hawk and a hang-glider. Very odd. It was a good time though.

After that I went to Christopher Columbus Park again. I think I will spend a great deal of time there if I end up in Boston permanently. It is right on the ocean and it has a really cool water fountain thing for kids to run in. I keep thinking about my little niece or nephew-to-be and I want to bring them here. There is a great rose garden. It is just a beautiful place to hang out and read and watch people.

After that I went to Boston Common and Public Garden. The have a frog pond (kiddie pool) there also. Then there is the swan pond with tons of great folliage. I don't think everyone would be as impressed with it as I was, but it was so different from Laramie. Flowers and plants everywhere you look. Wildlife everywhere. People everywhere. Awesome.

From there I went to Cheers. Yes, the actual bar. I took the olbigatory picture of me in front of the sign. Good times my friends... good times.

On my way back to the subway, I came upon Arlington Street Church. It is a Unitarian Universalist church founded in 1729. It has been very well taken care of. It has 16 Tiffany stained glass windows. It also has a lot of history. It was the place where the US Constitution was ratified and where the UU religion was founded. It was also the place where the first same-sex wedding was performed in the US. Over all a pretty cool thing to stumble on while looking for the T.

I am feeling very comfortable on the public transportation system. I take the 134 bus to Wellington station and get on the Orange line subway. Once I get on the subway, I can find my way anywhere I want to go. I got this shit on lock.

Lastly, I had a kick ass dinner at Bertucci's. Ceasar salad, fettucine with shrimp and asparagus, and for desert- creme brule cheesecake. It was a good day.